Loneliness in a crowd is a hard thing. Sometimes you are alone in your feelings. Other people don’t understand the path you’ve chosen. It’s inevitable when you follow your heart. There’s is a feeling with me that I rely on others when I am lonely, but I don’t allow myself the luxury. I make myself sit it out, I don’t call anyone. I just get the feeling that when I meet up with people to take away my loneliness I am searching for something in the wrong place. Like someone else is going to give me answers, when they can’t. The answers lie within myself. But often they are disguised.

It’s a difficult predicament. You know that your mood would lift if only you called someone. Am I being harsh on myself? Should I listen to my NEEDS. Even if the need is found within someone else. Is there something wrong with needing something from another person? I have been hurt so many times going down this path that I now try to only rely on myself. But sometimes you just need company. We are not islands.

Someone said to me this week: “It’s like we’re always doing a dance, backwards and forwards, into the needs of others and back into our own needs”. I thought this was nice. Sometimes you need another person to be there for you. On other days you will be in a position to be there for them. Some days it is nice to sit alone and listen. Get to know yourself and develop a beautiful relationship with the person inside.